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Showing posts with label Short Funny Jokes. Show all posts

True story

In group pictures, there is always that retard that does the peace sign.

A small two-seater Cessna 152 plane crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon in India. Indian search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the evening.

(Not real news... :D)

True story about childhood and internet

When I was small kid, "I'm gonna tell your mom" was the scariest sentence ever.

"Unable to connect to the internet" is the one now !!

Doctor's advice

Doctor: Have you taken my advice and slept with the window open?
Patient: Yes
Doctor: So your asthma disappeared completely?
Patient: No, but my TV & Laptop did !! :D

Girl's mood

Only two sentences can change a girls mood.

1. You are the most beautiful girl in the world.
2. Clothes on sale, 50% discount.

Sun travel

Russia: We are first in space

USA: We are first on the Moon

Sardar: We are first on the Sun

Russia & USA: The Sun is very hot. You will get burnt

Sardar: Do you think we are idiots? We go there at night

Old Girlfrend

Son: Dad I think this girl I'm dating is too old for me...
Dad: What makes you think that son?
Son: Well, to start with she said she's seen Liverpool win the League.
Dad: Damn she's old!

महा "TENSION"

TENSION
एउटा सुन्दर केटीले बाटोमा तपाईंसँग लिफ्टमगिन र तपाईंले लिफ्ट दिनु भयो. बाटोमा तिनी बिरामी भईन >> "TENSION"
डाक्टर: ल बधाई छ, तपाईं बुवा बन्नु भयो। ... अर्को "TENSION"
म यो बच्चाको बुवा होइन । केटीले भनिन: यो नै बच्चाको बुवा हो । झन"TENSION"
खैलाबैला भयो, पुलिस आयो, अनी तपाईं को डा.चेकअप भयो रिपोर्ट आयो , तपाईं त कहिल्यै बुवा बन्न सक्नु हुन्न रहेछ । झनै "TENSION",
तपाईं "THANK गड" भन्दै निस्किनु भयो फेरी सोच्नु भयो अरे घरमा भएको २वटा चाँही कस्को हो त ? महा "TENSION"

भूल भएछ मालिक

मालिक : श्यामे यस्तो महँगीमा चियामा यति धेरै दूध किन हालेको ?
श्यामे : भूल भएछ मालिक ।
मालिक : के भूल ?
श्यामे : मेरो चिया हजुरलाई पो परेछ

राजेश हमाल र भुवन के सी 2

Rajesh Hamal ra Bhuwan KC ko bartalap:

Rajesh Hamal: ta Shiva Shrestha hos?

Bhuwan KC: haina ma Bhuwan KC ho.

Rajesh Hamal : haina ta Shiva Shrestha hos yar.

Bhuwan KC: haina ma Bhuwan KC ho.

Rajesh Hamal : nai yar ta Shiva Shrestha nai hos.

Bhuwan KC (risaudai): ho ma Shiva Shrestha, ho la bhayo aba...
.
.
.
Rajesh Hamal : Mukh herda ta Bhuwan KC jasto dekhchas ta feri... :D

मुन्द्रे र गधा

मुन्द्रेलाई एक गधाले लात मारेर भाग्यो र मुन्द्रेले पनि गर्नुसम्म पिछा गर्यो तर सकेन ।
अर्को दिन चिडियाखानामा जेब्रालाई देखेर मुन्द्रेले भन्यो:- "अरे वाह!!! आज त ट्रयाक सुट लगाएर हेण्डसम भएर आएछ ...!!!"

मुन्द्रे को अपरेशन

मुन्द्रे: "डाक्टर साहब! यो फूलक माला केका लागि ?"
डाक्टर: यो मेरो पहिलो अपरेशन हो.... सफल भयो भने मेरो लागि, असफल भयो भने तिम्रो लागि !!

माग्ने बुढालाई एड्स

माग्ने बुढालाई क्यान्सर लागेको थियो । एकदिन बान्द्रेले सोध्यो:
बान्द्रे: "भिनाजु तपाईं किन गाँउले हरुलाई तपाईंलाई एड्स लागेको छ भनेर भन्नु हुन्छ ?"
माग्ने बुढाले उत्तर दियो: "किन कि म मरे पछी तेरो दिदी मुईयालाई कसैले छुने हिम्मत नगरुन.....!!!

History Class Funny Nepali Joke

शिक्षक : हिजो मैले दिएको पाठ पढेर आयौ ?
विद्यार्थी : आयौ सर
शिक्षक : राजु तिमी भन त बहादुर शाह को पालामा नेपालको सिमाना कहाँ देखी कहाँ सम्म थियो?
राजु: (किताबको पेज पल्टाएर देखाउदै) पेज ४ देखि पेज ९ सम्म थियो सर

Maths teacher funny joke

एकपटक गंणित शिक्छक (maths teacher) ले क्लासमा पढाउदै रहेछ । त्यतिकैमा मुन्द्रे जुरुक्क उठेर प्रश्न गरेछ ....
मुन्द्रे : सर हामीलाई नेपाली सर ले नेपालीमा गाली गर्नुहुन्छ , English सर ले English मै गर्नुहुन्छ तर तपाईंले maths मा कहिले पनि गाली गर्नुहुन्न त ?
सर : १२-२७ कुरा नगरहै नैाटङ्की, अहिले १ दिएर ३२ झरिदिछु अनी ९ लाख तारा देखेको बेला थाहा पाउलास ...
short funny nepali new joke

Facebook Joke

Once a guy updated his facebook status, "I am gonna sleep on terrace tonight".
After 5 minutes when he checked his facebook back, he saw: 15 Mosquitos liked his status.

short funny jokes nepali by bidhyanasta chutkila

Boss died

A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the wife of boss on the call. "He died yesterday." she explains.

The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss. "I told you,he died last week."

The next day he calls again and once more asks to speak to his boss. By this time the wife is getting upset and replies angrily, "I have already told you thrice that your boss died , why do you keep calling everyday :@ "

Guy: Because I just love hearing it.
New Nepali funny jokes chutkila comedy