नया बर्षको भेटघाटमा रामले श्यामसँग सिगरेट माग्दा श्याम अच्म्म परेर भनेछ ..
श्याम: तैँले यो नब बर्षबाट चुरोट छोड्ने भनेको होइन ?
राम: हो नी, म छोड्ने क्रमको पहिलो फेज (phase) मा छु ।
श्याम: पहिलो फेज ??
राम: ये (yeah) , मैले किन्न छोड्दिएँ !!
नब बर्षबाट चुरोट छोड्ने
An Inspirational Joke
An old Italian lived alone in New Jersey . He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:
Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love,
Papa
A few days later he received a letter from his son::
Dear Pop,
Don't dig up that garden.
That's where the bodies are buried.
Love,
Vinnie
At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.
That same day the old man received another letter from his son::
Dear Pop,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now.
That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
I love you,
Vinnie
स्कुल र गर्ल्स कलेजमा के फरक छ?
प्रथम: स्कुल र गर्ल्स कलेजमा के फरक छ?
दोस्रो: स्कुलको बहिर स्कुल एरिया बिस्तारै हाक्नुस भनेर लेखिएको हुन्छ तर गर्ल्स स्कुलको अगाडि लेखिएको हुदैन ।
प्रथम: किन?
दोस्रो: किनकि गर्ल्स कलेजको बहिर पुगेपछि सबै गाडी आफै बिस्तारै जान्छन्।
Precision of a Mathematician
A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer are riding a train through Scotland.
The engineer looks out the window, sees a black sheep, and exclaims, "Hey! They've got black sheep in Scotland!"
The physicist looks out the window and corrects the engineer, "Strictly speaking, all we know is that there's at least one black sheep in Scotland."
The mathematician looks out the window and corrects the physicist, " Strictly speaking, all we know is that is that at least one side of one sheep is black in Scotland."
A Motivational Joke
A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Mom." With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:
Dear Mom: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with Ahmed and he is so nice-even with all his piercings, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Mom, I'm pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be very happy. He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Ahmed taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Ahmed can get better; he sure deserves it!! Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grand children.
Your daughter, Judith
PS: Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.
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